Akatsuki take over!
by TheoneandonlyHadesdaughter
Summary: So what happens when the Akatsuki kidnap a laptop they think is private? This does! Rated T cause i'm cautious :)


Akatsuki take over

Hehehe! Tobi is a good boy! He is writing for Author lady who calls herself Domina Marishka! Isn't Tobi gooooooddddd? I want cookies! They promised me cookies but I have none. I will make Pein or Konan give me cookies! Clever Tobi! Oohhhh! Look! It's Deidara! Don't tell anyone, but Deidara is beautiful! I like him! Shhhh! Tobi must carry on talking and pretend that nothing-

Hey Un! I just pushed Tobi of the chair! Wait, what the hell has he been writing, yeah? Deidara is beautiful? I know I am, un! Hmmm, has he been writing a confession? Jeez, un! Fine, I shall confess, yeah? I feel really stupid 'cause everyone keeps telling me I am, un. They say that I wouldn't understand 'cause I'm blond, yeah! I'm a clever blond, un! Itachi's the only one who's actually bearable to talk to, yeah? Don't tell him though, yeah? I love Itachi to bits, but he's really big headed un! Nah, seriously Un. Love him. Don't tell Sasori, 'cause I think he fancies me, yeah? Most of them do. Hmn, I'm just that damn sexy and

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Hey! I accidently smashed Deidara's head on the keyboard after reading what he wrote. I can't believe he said I fancy him! I don't! I don't! I don't! Ok, maybe I do. A tiny bit. Not much! Ok, quite a lot. Shut up. Itachi does too! Judging by what Deidara wrote, then I might have to beat him up a bit. I can't actually believe that Deidara would actually say he loves UCHIHA ITACHI! giuh gcvuygfnnnnr Oww that hurt! F***ing Itachi! For fu 8vh Owwwww! I'm going to f***ing kill that motherf***er! tdr6t7yulihp'9y; Right, that's it!

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Hello. It's Itachi. I may have just killed the puppet. Oops. Deidara is going to murder me. Probably slowly and painfully. _No I won't xx_ How the hell can you type and hug at the same time? _Practise, Uchiha xx Practise xx _You're so weird Dei XD _Why don't you just talk to me normally? xxx_ Meh, where's the fun in that? Well that was awkward... _Yeah... I never knew Sasori felt that strongly xxx _I never knew you felt that strongly either :) _Dude, neither did I xx_ Bit rude Dei _Get over it! xx_ Why do you think you're stupid? _Because everyone keeps saying I am! xx_ Aww, Dei! You're so adorable! _NO!_ Yes! You are! You're so cute its actually unb

STAB! Hehehe! Helloooooo! It's me, Hidan! I just pushed Itachi and Deidara on the floor. I think they're still there. Eww, yep. They're still there. That's gross! Ooh, look there's Sasori. Haha oh dear. Poor Itachi. He will die. I might just watch. Smiles! Ooh, that looked like it hurt! Itachi just got punched in the face. Deidara just kicked Sasori. Now Sasori and Deidara are having a punch up. Itachi's just kind of standing there. Hehehe! Die, Sasori! Ouch! Deidara just kicked Sasori in the balls. Oooohhhhhhhh hahahaha! Ouch, that hurt you little bitch! Hold on a second, let me kill that bitch Sasori a second... Hold on...

Heylooo! I'm called Kisame and its slightly disturbing watching Hidan and Sasori have a punch up whilst Deidara and Itachi are trying not to kill Sasori. Mmm, my sempai is hot! He's just standing there beside that little blond bitch looking irresistible. Even Deidara (the little blond bitch!) is quite hot, but whereas Itachi looks more rugged, handsome and pulchritudinous, Deidara is more naive and beautiful. Yes, it is safe to say that Deidara is everyone's idea of the dream guy, including Sasori, that weird little puppet kid, however I prefer Itachi. That little blond slut can't have him! _What did you say, Kisame?_ Oh, uh Hi Itachi! I didn't say anything. Hahaha why? _It seemed to me that you just called Deidara a bitch and a slut...? _Oh, no, I would never do that Itachi! :) Oww, Itachi please stop hitting me. Stop it! STOP IT!

Hey it's Konan! Sorry, why is Kisame looking like sushi on the floor? What did- Oh, right. I just read his little section bit thing. Deidara really is gorgeous, isn't he? He deffo is my dream guy! *sigh* Oh well, I guess I could never have him anyway. He's only 19 after all :(. Oh well. Wait! Itachi is 21, so I guess I could have him... Meh, oh well *sigh again* I guess I'll have to stick with Pein. Bless him, Pein is adorable and cuddly, but he's not exactly Deidara in the looks department, is he? Or the hands on department. And, to top it all off; he's ginger. Things just keep getting worse for him! Poor guy x. Ohh! I have to go, that was the doorbell. Back in a second! If I lock the computer, then no one can get in! Genius! BRB xxx

Haha, so that's what she thought was it? Hmm, she deserves to feel pain. It is me, Pein, or God as you may call me. I can't believe that she thinks Deidara is eye candy! He's not! So... Ok, maybe he is a tiny bit, but I am god! What could be better than that? Oh, eww! I just stepped on a pile of Kisame! Goddamn fish everywhere! Anyway, back to Konan. I could give that woman the world, yet she wants Deidara. Oh my God, am I crying? Me, crying? I do not cry! I kill people mercilessly! STOP CRYING! Aww :(

Money money money money money! :$ :£

Plants :3

Hello. My name is Orochimaru. I am looking for Sasuke. Have you seen him? Sasuke Uchiha? No? Damn. Hmm. I will ask Itachi if he knows the whereabouts of his younger brother. But not now, though. I have some very exciting news to tell you! I was walking into the hideout earlier to look for my bingo book, when I spotted this majestic and beautiful thing. He was walking to a room, which I'm guessing was his own, and he walked in as soon as he reached it. I peeked into the door as he never closed it, and I saw him sat on his bed crying. Now, usually, crying makes things look weak and feeble, but this majestic being looked truly beautiful. He was muttering under his breath, which I soon realized was actually not words, but song lyrics to a song called happy. Ironic, huh? Back to the point, though. He was terrific. I am actually beginning to consider him instead of Sasuke! Oh, look. There's Itachi OMG! That guy's with him!

Hey, un. I've had a really depressing day today :(. I was sat in my room earlier and Orochimaru decided to come into my room and talk to me, Un. He was talking to me about Sasuke and Itachi, and what he wanted to do with Sasuke, yeah? I yelled at him that he could never do that to Itachi, un. Then Itachi walked in, yeah? Orochimaru told him about his plans for Sasuke, and then told him that he would be willing to swap Sasuke for someone else, Yeah? Itachi was excited, and asked who he would swap Sasuke for. Even I was intrigued un. Then Orochimaru said my name. I looked shocked, and Itachi agreed, yeah. I looked at him shocked, yeah? He said that anyone was better than his brother un. I am kinda ashamed to say that I just curled up on my bed and started crying. Orochimaru smirked and walked out, and Itachi just stood in the doorway for a while before sighing and walking out un. I don't want to move, or eat, or drink. I just want to die, un, because after Itachi and Orochimaru's little deal, I will die anyways.

I'm so sorry that I haven't written, but I haven't really felt like it. See, I was with Dei and Orochimaru and Orochimaru was talking about using Sasuke so he could stay immortal, and he offered to swap Sasuke for Deidara. I stupidly accepted. Deidara started crying and Orochimaru walked out grinning. Poor Dei! I saw him yesterday in the kitchen, but he looked really ill and wouldn't talk to anyone. He hasn't eaten for three days, and all he's had to drink has been a glass of water. Pein's really worried about him. I know what I did was wrong, and I feel really bad for Dei. He hasn't spoken to anyone other than Pein, who refused to tell anyone anything about their conversation. I need to talk to Deidara. Apologise. Bye, wish me luck!

Itachi came to see me earlier. He said that he was worried about Deidara. I know he is. We all are. Deidara is my youngest member, and I'm always worried about him. He said that he needed my advice as the leader. I told him to leave Deidara alone. After all, that's all Deidara wants. Recently, everyone's been coming to me for problem solving. All I seem to hear is "Pein, help. Pein, help. Pein, help." It's so annoying! Anyway, I must go and see if Deidara's still alive. Bye.

Why will no one leave me alone, un? This is the third time this week that Pein has tried to force feed me chocolate cake, yeah? I don't want food un! I looked in the mirror earlier, and I saw how bad I looked. On the plus side, my hair is still glorious, yeah? It's a lovely gold colour. The colour of honey. I had a glass of water earlier, so I am drinking stuff un. Pein won't give me alcohol, or I would be drinking a lot more, yeah? I really want to talk to someone, but no one would understand. Oh brilliant, here comes Tobi. See you in a minute, un.

I had a chat to Deidara yesterday, because Tobi's a good boy. Deidara told me everything, and he hugged me. I don't think he knows how dangerous I really am. He hugged me, and wouldn't let go. Just before I left he said something that made me stop in my tracks. He said "Don't worry Madara, your secret's safe with me.", then curled into a ball and slept. Unsurprisingly, I stayed by him that night. He woke up, and screamed. He didn't recognize me. Then it clicked, and he curled into me. Pein ran in, closely followed by Itachi and Sasori. Itachi surveyed the scene, and his mouth dropped open. Even Pein looked surprised. Deidara looked worse than ever this morning, so I could kind of guess why they were surprised. I just stood up and left, and heard Deidara ask where I was. Haha :).

I feel worse and worse every time I see Deidara. I saw him this morning, and he looked worse than ever. He's so skinny he looks like he could snap, and he's so pale it's like he's transparent. I waited till everyone had left, then I sat beside him, and hugged him. He looked surprised, and tried to push me away. I wouldn't let him. He's so weak now that it wasn't at all hard. I asked him to eat, for me. He replied with "Why should I do anything for you?". I know he has a right to be angry at me, but that still hurt. I yelled at him. Asked him if he wanted to die. He said yes. That shocked me silent. I stood up and left pretty quickly after that. I have to go. I have a mission. Kisame needs me for this apparently. Bye.

It's been a month since we last spoke. Sorry, un! I have eaten so much more, and gained quite a lot of weight, yeah? I'm now not so thin, and I've just got a flat stomach instead of no fat at all un. I thought my hair was wonderful when I was ill, yeah? Well, now I'm not, it looks 20X better. That's god like quality, yeah? Hahaha! I feel so much happier now that I'm healthy again. What's happened since we last spoke un? Sasori was killed in battle with his grandmother and another kunoichi, yeah? That meant that Tobi became my partner. I don't mind that, un. Itachi apologized, and I'm now talking to him again. I trust him still, which is a bit weird yeah? I don't know why, but I feel so much safer with Tobi than I did with Sasori un. I miss Sasori so much, especially as he was the first person I ever knew in Akatsuki un. I still wish he was alive because even though me and him fought over practically everything, I shared everything with him, yeah? Oh well, un. I still have Tobi and Itachi and Pein, yeah? Bye. I loved talking to you. See you soon, yeah? xxx


End file.
